NY Historical Society’s Armory Show Reveals Interesting Parallels in the Art World Today

I went to the NY Historical Society’s exhibit on the Park Ave Armory Show of 1913. It was a fascinating glimpse into –well- how little the world of art business has changed. With so many gadgets and technological advances, one would that think we, too, as a species would evolve as quickly. But, we don’t- and in this instance, it was a very reassuring feeling.

In 1913, the upheaval the show wrought to both the artistic illuminati and ladies who lunched not at all surprised the curators; in fact, they planned for it and tried to cull it in a very logical manner. For those unfamiliar with the show, essentially, the artistic community brought modern painting and sculpture – primarily from France –  to NYC.  The public were shocked with what they saw.  (You can read more about it on NYHS site: http://armory.nyhistory.org/about/) However, in anticipation of this kerfuffle, the curators developed a strategic plan.  The armory, for anyone who has been inside, is a huge space and the curators didn’t just hang up stuff randomly. They cut the room out into smaller exhibit rooms- starting from 1813 to the present day- all the while trying to clarify to the public that what one thought was shocking in 1813 is now the norm and who knows- maybe what is shocking in 1913 may be the norm in 2013 (which people thought was an insane conjecture! Matisse, Picasso, Duchamp? I mean- come on- who are these chumps?).

A less optimistic person may read this and say- Courtenay- how is this reassuring? I mean, these curators obviously tried to clarify to the audience their mission and still caused a stir! If you can’t please them…why try?

Well, I say- ever heard of Matisse, Picasso or Duchamp? And aren’t you glad you have?

Another interesting factor is how much the American curators desired illustrating American art with the European art. In other words, it was important for them to curate a comprehensive survey on Modern Art; a very novel and ambitious idea for a young country to partake.  And, thank god they did- for the American public and artists were greatly influenced by the exhibit and art was never the same.

On November 22nd-23rd, “21C Liederabend,” curated by Paola Prestini, Executive Director of VIA, and Beth Morrison; produced by their companies, VIA, Beth Morrison Projects and with Trinity Wall Street; and, presented at BAM as part of their NEXT WAVE FESTIVAL, will present a similar survey of contemporary living composers from around the world. Using the traditional term to describe intimate parlor performances of song, this 21C Liederabend hopes to bring it into its modern guise. For you Schubert lovers out there, or Wagnerites, its our hope that when you do hear modern art song, you will reflect on what Schubert and Wagner were trying to do in their day and listen with open ears. We think you will like what you hear! For those who still have no idea what this “Liederabend” is, we think you will enjoy the ride! And, either way, shocking or not, we think that this world survey of song will illustrate that modern music is alive and well. Aren’t you the least bit curious to see what it’s all about?

www.21cliederabend.com

 Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase, No. 2

Why Kickstarter is the "New" Audience

as posted on VisionIntoArt's blog: http://www.visionintoart.com/why-kickstarter-is-the-new-audience/

An article titled “Only Connect the Prose and the Passion- A Manifesto” by Marian Godfrey was posted on the Grantmakers in the Arts website last week (and later re-posted on Artsjournal.org). Godfrey has worked for over 30 years in artistic administration, both as a grantmaker and arts manager. As part of her manifesto she declared: “art organizations have a direct and necessary part to play in building connections among artists and the people and places and communities in which they are grounded.”  I think Kickstarter’s success is driving this point home.

Among art administrators, it’s a common frustration to seek and hold dearly onto “new audiences”. Grantmakers want us to share our strategies on how we intend to do this, the dwindling audiences have our boards in a tizzy… when quite simply-- the standard model is obsolete.

I like to recall a statement I overheard from a frustrated art administrator: “New audiences? I have been trying to find those for 30 years.” Although we all share her pain, we also may be overlooking the obvious - the new audience is the one we’ve had all along.  What’s new is how we connect with them so they keep coming back and, hopefully, support our organizations beyond the ticket price.
Human nature dictates our need to connect.  In the past, to see a performance you’d go to the concert hall, meet some friends, sit down and listen to the music and maybe, if you were lucky, meet the artist afterwards. Nowadays, music is in your pocket, art is on your phone, the newest movie or something like it is on your computer, and if you are fan of someone, you can connect with him or her on twitter or facebook. Some would think this would cause competition, when in fact; it’s proof that audiences want a more personal connection with performing arts. Moreover, what seems to be so isolating –sitting at a computer all day- is actually facilitating an easier and more efficient way to become more involved. What Kickstarter invites fans to do is to take this step further and become involved in projects from the beginning, allowing the fans to be, rightly so, part of the artistic process. These intimate connections provide artistic projects normally not funded in the standard old way- grants and people with large sums of money- to be funded by the entire audience.

On the flip side, beautifully described in Amanda Palmer’s TED talk, is that we shouldn’t worry about making people buy music; we need to let them. To this end, Kickstarter allows our audiences to know what is happening and to be part of the process. For today’s audiences, it’s our jobs as artistic managers and artists not to find these people and present our ideas to them; it’s our job to invite them to the conversation.

(And I invite you to our conversation by visiting VisionIntoArt's Kickstarter Campaign!! Please RSVP by clicking here! I also invite you to see VIA Artist, Jeffrey Zeigler’s, post on CELLOBELLO about our Kickstarter Campaign.)

[Untitled]- Honoring the Process

First, for anyone who has seen the hilarious movie, <Untitled>, please know I am fully aware at how ironic I am being in writing a blog about it. But- I couldn't NOT comment on a movie that so closely imitates art that imitates life that imitates my life that imitates my art that I love. Let us begin...

<Untitled> is ultimately a very dark and funny conversation about what good art is. You have the artist who mass produces that horrible art everyone knows because it hangs in every lobby in every hotel in the USA. You have the art gallery owner using this same artist to actually financially support the crazy "post it note on the wall" art you find in Chelsea Art Galleries. Then, finally, all of this is underscored, literally, by a composer who writes extremely advant-garde music.

I am not up on the art scene- which <Untitled> makes fun of with humor and almost painful accuracy. It's with the poor composer that my heart (and the movie's -heart- if there is one) really embraced. What I found so poignant about composer's character is that he is so hell bent on making anything seem like something that actually nothing is being said at all (he literally kicks a bucket in his performance- without realizing how ironic he is actually being- he just likes the sound of the bucket being kicked). His frustration takes a turning point when he hears a very beautiful concert by an older composer (much older) and an audience member goes up to him and says, "I just don't get this? Why did you write this? I hope the next one is better" (which is hilarious and horrible because this guy is like 85 years old). The composer goes up to this older man and says, "How do you deal with this?" And the wise old man says, "It doesn't matter- you have to honor the process."

Which leads me to this blog. Part of writing a blog is exactly this- honoring the process. Whether it be singing, or working in the arts field behind the scene, or doing the dishes, all we really have is the process. All we have is here to there and what is in between. And when we realize there is this "in between", we slow down and focus on the here and now. I must say, I am really relishing in this right now.

But- what happens when the process sucks?

I am currently rehearsing for a concert I am not that thrilled about doing. And it's not because I think the concert is bad but because I am at that point where I rather do other things with my life.  But, I joined up because a) I love to sing and b) I get to sing with my friends and c) some of the music is a challenge for me. However, it was June when I signed up; it's now October and that June person is far far away.   The process for this concert has not been a good one. The music has been more challenging than I thought- which I am usually good about but when one's focus has shifted to not singing professionally anymore- one thinks- why did I do this to myself? Then, there have been many many rehearsals in far away places. So, we grin and bear it. Right? Hmm...I rather not- it's cheating the audience and cheating my experience (so I know not to do this again!). But- what about that June person? Why did she sign up again? Ah right...because of a) and b)- and let's not worry about c) so much. And by honoring that choice, I am honoring this experience.

How is that for process!?

Back to School Basics

This late July and early August I have been having back to school dreams - but not the nightmares of arriving after the test starts, or worse- naked and the test has already started; but, rather, the unexpected anticipation of a new start, of learning something new, of having a simple life when student loans and credit card debt and ... well, dreams that didn't turn out the way you thought they would... occur. And, coincidentally, I am singing in a few opera scenes this fall in a concert sponsored by Professional Women Singers Association (PWSA). And unlike in grad school (another post!),  I am singing in languages that are not my mother's tongue. So, when told by my fellow Voices of Women member, Melissa, that she was IPAing her scenes, I thought she was insane. God- who the hell wants to do that? Don't I know all those things now? Isn't that beaten in my brain? Aren't I a...PROFESSIONAL?

But then, I thought- wait- I miss school, I miss the in the moment learning and taking things slow, so- why not?

And it was miraculous what I discovered. First, I definitely forgot a few things (I was IPA'ing Pamina in the finale of the Magic Flute). Like- ich is actually "I" and not "i" (same with dich!). And there are nuances with the umlauted o and au and all that. But, most importantly, I just looked at the vowels. And then I just looked at the consonants. And then I sang the vowels- matching them up in a melodic line, with my voice...well, it was a hell of a lot easier to sing. And then, when I just did consonsants (with "ng" as my neutral vowel), I noticed how much I constrict my voice so that must mean I am not using the tip of my tongue enough and wow, when I adjusted that...it so much easier to sing.

It was a coincidence, too, that on that same day I took a basics yoga class. I have been doing yoga for 15 years and not that I am a pro (I still can't do a hand stand), I am definitely beyond basics. But, there is something amazing and quieting and most importantly, humbling, to do downward dog over and over and over and over!! again. I didn't let my frustrations or boredom come in, but just allowed the amazing discovery of noticing the slight nuances that make the pose so much easier to do.

So, for those students out there (well, I know none of my 16 followers are)- but, just in case you are new to this blog and a student-- don't rush. Enjoy it all. It's painstaking and boring and you just want to go on the stage but, in reality, that's what life can be- reaching for something new and allusive and not here today. So just enjoy today. Enjoy each IPA symbol. Enjoy each vowel. Because, really, that is all we have and it's awesome!


PS- Thank you Nico Castel who made this much easier and enjoyable. I can't take all the credit for looking up each word, etc. And thanks Mom for buying that book for Christmas!

Baby, It's HOT outside

As I was climbing up yet another flight of stairs, in yet another stifling disgusting stale opressive MTA subway station, I thought, "Why the hell am I walking so fast?" My vision was blurry, my head spinning- all because I am walking the same pace as when it's 60 degrees- or even 20 degrees! Well, the kitchen is hot and I want to stay in it but that doesn't mean I have to use my usual NYC pace...so, slow down. What's the hurry? It's going to be disgusting no matter what I do. And, as I have my performance coming up this Wednesday (6.30 pm- Cornelia St Cafe), I remind myself yet again- slow down- what's the hurry? Take this heat as a lesson to pause and look around and think...

(plus, everyone's on vaca anyway!)

Thank You Salesmen!

I was one of the fortunate few who was able to see Death of A Salesman, directed by the legendary Mike Nichols, starring the amazing Philip Seymour Hoffman, heart-wrenching Linda Edmond, surprising Alex Garfield  (I only say this because he was in Social Network and next appears in Spider Man), and profound Finn Wittrock. When I immediately stood up to give my standing ovation, I thought to myself- Thank You. Thank you for sharing your amazing gifts.

It's hard to be in the performing arts world. When everyone everywhere talk about the economy and more and more arts education programs are being cut- you begin to drink the Kool-Aid that arts don't really matter. I mean, what do they really bring? Spiderman on Broadway is the Number 1 Broadway show right now. Spiderman.  That's a tough sell on integrity.  We live in a world of American Idol, the Kardashians, really bad movies, BLOGS ;), twitter. The get successful fast formula.  And, the arts admin world, trying to find something ANYTHING hip and cool and edgy because that's what foundations want- what the critics want. No one wants music for the sake of music any more. And if they do, it's just too expensive to take a risk.

So, because of this, I was a bit skeptical. I mean- I read it in high school. Broken Dreams...blah blah blah. Was this another guaranteed get rich scheme by Broadway? Yet another revival? Ugh.

But the critics piqued my interest and I heard good things so..ok, I'll bite...last row though!

And even though I was in the cheap seats- literally, the LAST row, I was completely captivated.  I couldn't see their faces, but I could hear the emotions and  feel their body language. I fell in love with these characters and I was deeply torn apart by the decisions, or lack of decisions, they all made.

No aerial-stunts can do this. No reality TV. Not even the most eloquent blog.

So thank you. I feel like a human being again.

VOW Concert- May 18th!

I will be singing with my Quartet, Voice of Women, in our new concert:

All Girl Band

Friday, May 18 at 7:30 pm 

Museum of Motherhood (M.O.M.) 

$20 at the door or buy early online by visiting our DONATE page The Voices of Women (VOW) present a brand new spring program about camaraderie and companionship. It will feature a variety of works including composers Barbara Anselmi, Joseph Turrin, Stephen Sondheim, Stephen Flaherty, Terrance McNally and more! The concert is accompanied by Jim Trainor. This poignant program will focus on the passages the women have taken in their formative years as well as the friendships that have shaped their lives. Half of the proceeds will benefit the Museum of Motherhood.

Letter to Contemporary Opera Directors who never directed opera before

Dear Directors of Contemporary Opera who have never directed opera before,

I feel like there is an epidemic going on where opera companies are hiring non-opera directors for new works and ironically, this usually happens in a large media-blitzed fashion. So, if you are one of these directors, here is my advice (and who are we kidding- I know you aren't visiting this website but I have to get this out of my system!)

1. Go to an opera directed by someone who only directs opera. I think you will find some interesting things. Primarily, they let the singers sing because it's hard to do anything else but stand and sing. So, you need to fight the urge to have them do "something" for the sake of doing "something" while the music is already doing plenty. I understand that in straight theatre/film (i.e no music, not a play done by straight people ;), there is a tactic to have the actors do various chores, like folding laundry, while discuss whatever heart wrenching episode is playing out. But, in opera, usually the heart wrenching episode is really really difficult to sing.

2. Because this is an opera, the text is probably difficult to understand for the audience. Either, because it's in a foreign language, or- if it's contemporary- probably in poetic form and most definitely in a stream of consciousness style. So, when you add all this stuff it is super distracting to the audience because they don't know what to pay attention to (The music? The action? The singing? The words?) and completely unfair to the singer (what's more important? The music? The action? The singing? The words?).

3. The most important part IS the music- This is opera, folks; use it! I get that impresario's are trying to avoid the usual "opera is boring" by hiring directors who excel in pulling out drama from the text. But, the composers have given you a gift, dear director: music that describes the characters motivation.

4. Don't try to choreograph stuff going on behind a singer that is different tempi from the music to be interesting like a modern ballet. This isn't modern ballet (and if it is, then have the singer stand in a corner and just sing). And, don't add movement to a singer that makes no sense to the text.

5. Audiences are smart. I am all for changing it up- but we are smart. So, have it make sense, please. Otherwise, you are going to alienate the audience you have worked so hard to build.

In short, do what is on the page and work with your artists to ensure they find the drama within the music and not waste your time on all this other crap! I know - easier said then done- so, again, revisit step 1. There are many brilliant opera directors out there who know what they are doing.

The crazy mind of an engaged woman

So- I apologize for not posting as of late- I have been engaged since mid-December and have been wrapped up in wedding plans. It has been super fun making all the plans, a little hectic- and mostly all exciting. But- I have become a crazy woman. I am so very distracted that although I practice, and although I type this now- my mind is in France (where our honeymoon will be) or thinking of cute ways to update our wedding website. So, I must apologize for this blog as I am sure it will be somewhat incoherent and definitely brief.

Act II- I have been avoiding this act FOREVER and for good reason. The 1st Act has a very difficult aria, so I wanted to tackle it first (tackling is a good word- it is officially wrestled to the ground, not sure it has any musical merit at this point- but it will). Then, the last Act is in the lower region so my voice teacher and I thought it best to learn that one first so I can have an established base line to sing the role from. But the 2nd Act...ugh...and for all that I am going through as a crazy engaged woman...double ugh.

This is the Act when Alfredo's father convinces Violetta to leave his son for the benefits of all parties. And...she agrees!

I tried to sing this act a year ago and I got so emotional that I had trouble getting through phrases. I mean- how could she agree to do this? I could NEVER do this! Ever! And it's not that I am mad at her or even disagree with the situation (well, I do a little- but that is my 21st Century mentality)- but seriously, how can she even speak, let along sing? And to go to that place to have a rational decision that yes, I will leave the love of my life...I just simply don't want to do it.

Then, there is the 21st Century mentality. She gives up the man she loves so he doesn't ruin his family. Honorable, I guess? And she is dying anyway, right? And, she is a courtesan, so what is her value anyway? Hmm...that's where I have trouble. She puts everyone's emotions in front of hers not to be noble or because she is dying or because it's the right thing to do (is it?)- but, because, in this time- a woman's loss- and a courtesan's loss- isn't worth the trouble. So, then I get angry and sad.

Much rather be on knot.com- you know?

10,000 hours

While I hurt my eye (See back a few posts)- I decided to FINALLY listen to "Tipping Point" on my ipod; a wonderful book by Malcolm Gladwell that my fiance downloaded as he can multitask and listen and work at the same time. I cannot- and I was on my way to DC for the holidays- and I couldn't read- so...here we are back to "Tipping Point"

The book is about why successful people are successful. And it's not only because of hard work, or luck, or a trust fund, or all those reasons one immediately thinks of when people think of success. It's a combination of all of these- luck included (apparently, the decade you were born makes a significant contribution). And- hard work- well, it's all about how many hours you put into your craft and it seems that 10,000 hours is the magic number. So, I did some calculating, and I have approximately 8,500 hours in singing- those 5 years of vocal damage really did do me in. That, and needing to work to eat. In artistic administration? The job I was doing to support my singing career? Exactly 10,000 hours.

Holy f8k# Damn!

Christmas Things to Do!

Friday, December 16th
Chelsea Opera presents "A Child's Christmas in Wales"- this CHORAL piece will feature 45 singers and an orchestra- $25 advance tickets. One night only.

buy tickets here!

Tuesday, December 20th
My group, Voices of Women, Holiday House Party. Ticket prices offset future engagements (and we have to pay the pianist...)



when: December 20, 6-9 pm
where: 63 West 70th st., #3
cost at the door: $15 per person/$35 per family
cost before December 18: $10 per person/$25 per family

Join us as we usher in the Holidays with some old fashion Christmas Caroling and other fun selections! Wine and other beverages, cookies and of course candy canes included! Everyone welcome-this will be kid friendly! This is an open house, so please come when you can. Pay ahead of time via our donate page

My Second Act

On Monday, I was asked to participate in a "live lecture" where I sing some arias and then discuss the art of being a singer. The audience are all adults- folks who go to the opera and want to learn more about it- not students. Thank god! Because, if there were students- I would say "run to the hills!" Which, is completely unfair....and kept me silent among my other singers performing that day.

One of whom is a beautifully voiced soprano. She has been auditioning for 3 years with little luck and I can't for the life think of why. And she asks me this same question (and I am sure she asks her teacher, I am sure everyone) and my response was to just throw up my hands. And I thought: Holy Shit! I have now turned the corner...I used to be the one asking those questions and they would respond with throwing up their hands!

It's just such a sad state of affairs. This business is so hard...and the allure is so strong to keep going. And it comes from everywhere- if not society (try hard = success, follow your dream!), guilt (I have 2 degrees in this!), the music itself (I CAN sing this stuff so why should I stop?). And when someone asks you- well, why did you stop and how are you managing not singing as your "dream"... I answer:

I had no choice. I had to eat. It's not fair, but then there comes a time in one's life when it's time to find out what else you are good at so you can eat- and be happy with how you came to eat. And it is possible.

But you can't tell someone in the middle of it...you just throw up your hands-- like all those folks did with me.

top 10 reasons I haven't cracked open La Traviata this month- even with all that hype from my last blog entry

10. I have to write in this blog
9. I got fat from all that turkey I ate and only have time for the gym
8. I hurt my eye and can't see (this is true)
7. I need to figure out ways to make more money to pay off my bills from when I was trying to be a professional singer
6. I got a gig- yeah!- but need to practice that music instead
5. I get home too late and therefore, don't want to annoy my neighbors
4. I was too hyped to do it and have to disappoint myself to feel back to "normal"
3. It's so much music - where do I even start? (I know- at the beginning)
2. I rather look at thesuperficial.com
1. I'm stuck on the NYC subway all the damn time

What are your reasons to procrastinate??!

I hate over...

"I hate over"- my young niece said that to me after seeing a movie (I believe it was her first in the theatre). And let me tell you, I know how she feels!

The music is packed, the ticket sales deposited (thank YOU), the hangover has come and gone...but...wait.. what is going on?? I am actually NOT sad. I hate over- it's true. But, is it really over? Or, is this just another fantastic moment in life...and on to the next!

And boy- the next! My poor Violetta- how I have forsaken you! I can't wait to revel back into the Italian tongue twisters and luscious Verdi phrases...it's like dipping myself into a chocolate bath. How luxurious... to now have the time to enjoy life to its fullest.

Voices of Women: Loss & Find - I'm the one in the purple!

Tuesday, November 1st- 7.30 pm; The Singer's Forum: 49. W 24th Street, 4th Floor (off 6th Avenue). One hour- no intermission.

About the Concert:
Have you have been to a recital and found it to be, well, boring? Where a singer is standing there and you don't know what the heck they are screaming about? Don't worry- we feel the same way! We are the Voices of Women quartet and we have a vision – to take the recital out of recital by presenting a story of songs in a cabaret revue. As four professional trained classical singers, we take influences from everything from opera to jazz, from classical to cabaret, with the goal of focusing these influences towards the expansion of classical repertoire under the guise of a modern stage. On Saturday, October 29th (8 pm) and Tuesday, November 1 (7.30 pm), we are presenting our new recital, “Loss and Find" at the Singers Forum (49 W 24th St # 4). In "Loss & Find," we will explore and earnestly share with you our individual stories in how music and life interchange.

"Loss & Find" is comprised of American Art songs by well-known composers as Lee Hoiby, Ricky Ian Gordon, Ned Rorem and Aaron Copland as well as not so well-known composers, Richard Hageman and Amy Beech. We are thrilled to perform commissioned quartets by contemporary composer, Richard Pearson, who just happens to be accompanying us, as well as featuring local New York City composer, Joseph Turrin. Lastly, Rod Gomez, singer and opera director extraordinaire, will direct the program.

Meeting Anna/Anna

I had the great pleasure of seeing the open rehearsal of the Met's "Anna Bolena" starring Anna Netrebko. For Mr. Tommasini's review in the New York Times, click here. I completely disagree with his view of the production and direction and singing, but his article has nice pictures and videos. However, this isn't a critical rebuttal to his article; but rather, I would like to discuss the female role in opera and the opera's role in the society it was written for (in 1830).

Anna Bolena- the opera- based on the execution of Anne Boleyn- has nothing to do with any historical fact. In fact, she is quite opposite from the truth- as described in the program notes. The librettist just did what we do now- take famous historical stories and reinvent them for commercial success- just like Broadway with movie scripts and cable with The Tudors, Spartacus, The Borgias, etc.

However, what makes this opera so intriguing is that it is completely historically inaccurate. In fact, just like today- it's so false that it has to be a reflection of the time in which it was written. And what is about is women.

First, the 2 women- Anna Bolena- and her lady in Waiting- Giovanna (yep- that's Jane Seymour folks!) are completely trapped. Anna is married to a king, who previous got rid of his first wife, and she is worried he has the same ideas for her. Henry has eyes for Giovanna- and she can't say no because he is the king. Ironically, they both sing about fate and the heavens- as having no choice over their situation- but I think a better word would be "husband" and "lover/king". And, conveniently- the "heavens" have made both women fall in love with him, too, because its better to pretend this desperate feeling they feel is love and not slavery.

We move to the 2nd act- the famous scene between Anna and Giovanna. Giovanna finally tells Anna she is the king's mistress and Anna, through bitter tears, tells Giovanna that she forgives her and leaves it again to the heavens. I would like to interpret this as Anna forgiving Giovanna because she too understands her fate as a woman- that she has no choice- and knows it's up to Henry, aka "the heavens" as to what the next step is. Of course, this being an opera- there is romantic jealousies at play- but I believe Anna Netrebko played the scene with much texture by adding this subtext and I think it was brilliant.

Meanwhile, Anna's old lover, Percy, ruins it all because he has to take credit for having Anna love him first and for Anna maybe being married to him first (which would make her marriage to Henry false and therefore his plea on adultery invalid). This just pissed me off. I wanted to scream- "Shut up!! Henry was forgiving her and then you come in and ruin it! Why did you come at all?!" Well- he came because he is a man- fate/heavens- and his point of view takes precedence over Anna's. Furthermore, when she doesn't deny that she married Percy first- I think this is the beginning of the unraveling to Anna's madness. I state this because the entire 1st act, and prior scene with Giovanna, is about her honor- and her daughter's honor. Why would she forsake all of that? And, if Anna really married against her will (aka- it was the "heavens" that made her do it)- couldn't she have used Percy to defend her then?

Then, Anna goes mad.

So- what reflection of society am I seeing here?

Well- Violetta- written about 20 years later- is also about a woman stuck. She has no choice and leaves it to fate to forgive her. When Alfredo comes in, as she lays dying, she is forgiven and knows that she will have a cross and flowers and tears at her grave- her dying wish. Something, about 2 minutes prior, she was very fearful she would never have.

I, thanks to women's lib, have no idea what this feels like. And, for this to be such a strong theme during this time, these tragic notions that woman have no power and it's up to God to figure it out- that this runs so pervasive throughout all repertoire at this time- is something I think we women actors today take advantage of. Or, at least- I do!! Women had no choice- they didn't even know what that word meant. This total disregard of "choice" was so integrated into society that it seeped through each scene as fact- like rain or sunshine or crying babies. And, if a woman was stuck in the situation society put her in, she went mad or was forgiven at the last moment by a man. Finally, stacked on top of this lays the action, the characters, the singing, the music.


As a side note- despite Tommasini's opinion, I thought the McVicar's direction was brilliant. Because the scenery wasn't distracting, because the costumes were to the period, because McVicar let the actors do their job- I saw a story behind the disguise of this ridiculous false plot.

Getting Outside Yourself

With all the ongoing Sept 11th reporting, and the horrible weather last week, I couldn't help but be down in the dumps. I was fortunately not personally effected by September 11th, but have friends who were and in devastating fashion. But, with all the reminders last week, I wanted to scream "ENOUGH!" It's just enough. It was horrible and yes, we should absolutely honor those who lost their lives, but let's do it when it's necessary to do it and not as a daily countdown leading up to the tragic reminder.

However, that being said, I did participate in a concert on September 10th with the September Concerts foundation and Art Song Preservation Society. It was a concert featuring American Composers' Songs of Hope and let me tell you- that's what I needed to hear and be part of. Plus, giving my voice to the cause really bounced my spirits back because we all need hope- and we all need to get out of ourselves and bring hope to our community, as often as we can. And by singing, the most personal "gift" I can bring, I felt that I was part of a healing community- not a depressed one that our media tries to convinces us that we must suffer from.

A "Type A" Revelation

As I was out running and listening to La Traviata (I told you I was Type A), I was marveled, yet again- at Beverly Sills's freakish talent. Then, I scrolled to Maria Callas- again, amazing. Then, to Renata..OK! I GET IT!

But-wait- I really did get it. These singers are AMAZING. And the reason they are AMAZING is because they are SUPER STARS and the reason they are SUPER STARS is because they are AMAZING!

Why-oh-why did I have them set as the bar in school? And why-oh-why am I continuing to do this? What was/am I thinking? I am not Beverly, I am not Maria, I am not Renata or Anna or Joan. I am me! And it's pretty amazing that I can sing the same damn high notes as these ladies, and do high pianissimo sorta...almost...ok, close but darn impressive, just like them. So, can't I just leave it at that? Why all this pressure to be "just like them." THEY are amazing. I am pretty good- and I will take that any day when it comes to singing opera!

Dreams and Hurricanes

In this time of being hunkered down in my non-low level apartment in Brooklyn, I feel that as a busy NYer, I am finally forced to be indulgent and to take time to reflect.

What makes an amazing performance? How can I take my experience from a humbled observer to performer?

When I see amazing performances, it's not so much the technical feat or the beauty of sound, but what the sole artist brings towards their interpretation. Nothing was more clear to me than Tyne Daily's amazing performance as Maria Callas in Master Class. Her skill as an actress is unparallelled. To do that role, night after night, with as much clarity and energy as she does, is unbelievable. But, that is not what left me breathless- it was her ability to bring sympathy and a wonderful sense of humor to the role...which, I think, is all Tyne.

I also work full time for a wonderful actor. He also shares the same talents that I describe above for Tyne. And, I think why he is so successful and why he resonates so deeply with his fans is that he lets his personality come through his characters.

So, as I have learned all these years- it's finally dawning on me that to be great, you have to get out of your own way and just be who you are, who I am- Courtenay Schowalter- in the role I am portraying. Only then are you being honest to the character and ultimately, the craft.

Bloggedy Blogged Blogged Blog

So, I have been absent dear reader. All I can say is that I have been practicing- truly- well...after a month hiatus. It was too hot and all the BBQ gave me reflux. But, seriously, I am BACK and with a vengeance. I had to take a vocal break. To sing for the sake of singing, when I have been programed to "have a career," is a bit indulgent. But now, I am finally enjoying the sweet taste. Truly, I am singing for myself because...and this is important...I WANT to! Not because I want to develop my technique either- or to improve my sound- or my vowels- or my language-- but, because, I love the sheer power of singing. Of opening my voice and having a lion roar come out of my size 6 waist. Because this is how I clear my head and reconnect with myself. Not because I have an audition, or a show, or a coaching or a lesson or any other outside force propelling me to "improve" and move ahead. Because I want to ... dammit! ;)