While I hurt my eye (See back a few posts)- I decided to FINALLY listen to "Tipping Point" on my ipod; a wonderful book by Malcolm Gladwell that my fiance downloaded as he can multitask and listen and work at the same time. I cannot- and I was on my way to DC for the holidays- and I couldn't read- so...here we are back to "Tipping Point"
The book is about why successful people are successful. And it's not only because of hard work, or luck, or a trust fund, or all those reasons one immediately thinks of when people think of success. It's a combination of all of these- luck included (apparently, the decade you were born makes a significant contribution). And- hard work- well, it's all about how many hours you put into your craft and it seems that 10,000 hours is the magic number. So, I did some calculating, and I have approximately 8,500 hours in singing- those 5 years of vocal damage really did do me in. That, and needing to work to eat. In artistic administration? The job I was doing to support my singing career? Exactly 10,000 hours.
Holy f8k# Damn!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Christmas Things to Do!
Friday, December 16th
Chelsea Opera presents "A Child's Christmas in Wales"- this CHORAL piece will feature 45 singers and an orchestra- $25 advance tickets. One night only.
buy tickets here!
Tuesday, December 20th
My group, Voices of Women, Holiday House Party. Ticket prices offset future engagements (and we have to pay the pianist...)
when: December 20, 6-9 pm
where: 63 West 70th st., #3
cost at the door: $15 per person/$35 per family
cost before December 18: $10 per person/$25 per family
Join us as we usher in the Holidays with some old fashion Christmas Caroling and other fun selections! Wine and other beverages, cookies and of course candy canes included! Everyone welcome-this will be kid friendly! This is an open house, so please come when you can. Pay ahead of time via our donate page
Thursday, December 8, 2011
My Second Act
On Monday, I was asked to participate in a "live lecture" where I sing some arias and then discuss the art of being a singer. The audience are all adults- folks who go to the opera and want to learn more about it- not students. Thank god! Because, if there were students- I would say "run to the hills!" Which, is completely unfair....and kept me silent among my other singers performing that day.
One of whom is a beautifully voiced soprano. She has been auditioning for 3 years with little luck and I can't for the life think of why. And she asks me this same question (and I am sure she asks her teacher, I am sure everyone) and my response was to just throw up my hands. And I thought: Holy Shit! I have now turned the corner...I used to be the one asking those questions and they would respond with throwing up their hands!
It's just such a sad state of affairs. This business is so hard...and the allure is so strong to keep going. And it comes from everywhere- if not society (try hard = success, follow your dream!), guilt (I have 2 degrees in this!), the music itself (I CAN sing this stuff so why should I stop?). And when someone asks you- well, why did you stop and how are you managing not singing as your "dream"... I answer:
I had no choice. I had to eat. It's not fair, but then there comes a time in one's life when it's time to find out what else you are good at so you can eat- and be happy with how you came to eat. And it is possible.
But you can't tell someone in the middle of it...you just throw up your hands-- like all those folks did with me.
One of whom is a beautifully voiced soprano. She has been auditioning for 3 years with little luck and I can't for the life think of why. And she asks me this same question (and I am sure she asks her teacher, I am sure everyone) and my response was to just throw up my hands. And I thought: Holy Shit! I have now turned the corner...I used to be the one asking those questions and they would respond with throwing up their hands!
It's just such a sad state of affairs. This business is so hard...and the allure is so strong to keep going. And it comes from everywhere- if not society (try hard = success, follow your dream!), guilt (I have 2 degrees in this!), the music itself (I CAN sing this stuff so why should I stop?). And when someone asks you- well, why did you stop and how are you managing not singing as your "dream"... I answer:
I had no choice. I had to eat. It's not fair, but then there comes a time in one's life when it's time to find out what else you are good at so you can eat- and be happy with how you came to eat. And it is possible.
But you can't tell someone in the middle of it...you just throw up your hands-- like all those folks did with me.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
top 10 reasons I haven't cracked open La Traviata this month- even with all that hype from my last blog entry
10. I have to write in this blog
9. I got fat from all that turkey I ate and only have time for the gym
8. I hurt my eye and can't see (this is true)
7. I need to figure out ways to make more money to pay off my bills from when I was trying to be a professional singer
6. I got a gig- yeah!- but need to practice that music instead
5. I get home too late and therefore, don't want to annoy my neighbors
4. I was too hyped to do it and have to disappoint myself to feel back to "normal"
3. It's so much music - where do I even start? (I know- at the beginning)
2. I rather look at thesuperficial.com
1. I'm stuck on the NYC subway all the damn time
What are your reasons to procrastinate??!
9. I got fat from all that turkey I ate and only have time for the gym
8. I hurt my eye and can't see (this is true)
7. I need to figure out ways to make more money to pay off my bills from when I was trying to be a professional singer
6. I got a gig- yeah!- but need to practice that music instead
5. I get home too late and therefore, don't want to annoy my neighbors
4. I was too hyped to do it and have to disappoint myself to feel back to "normal"
3. It's so much music - where do I even start? (I know- at the beginning)
2. I rather look at thesuperficial.com
1. I'm stuck on the NYC subway all the damn time
What are your reasons to procrastinate??!
Friday, November 4, 2011
I hate over...
"I hate over"- my young niece said that to me after seeing a movie (I believe it was her first in the theatre). And let me tell you, I know how she feels!
The music is packed, the ticket sales deposited (thank YOU), the hangover has come and gone...but...wait.. what is going on?? I am actually NOT sad. I hate over- it's true. But, is it really over? Or, is this just another fantastic moment in life...and on to the next!
And boy- the next! My poor Violetta- how I have forsaken you! I can't wait to revel back into the Italian tongue twisters and luscious Verdi phrases...it's like dipping myself into a chocolate bath. How luxurious... to now have the time to enjoy life to its fullest.
The music is packed, the ticket sales deposited (thank YOU), the hangover has come and gone...but...wait.. what is going on?? I am actually NOT sad. I hate over- it's true. But, is it really over? Or, is this just another fantastic moment in life...and on to the next!
And boy- the next! My poor Violetta- how I have forsaken you! I can't wait to revel back into the Italian tongue twisters and luscious Verdi phrases...it's like dipping myself into a chocolate bath. How luxurious... to now have the time to enjoy life to its fullest.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Voices of Women: Loss & Find - I'm the one in the purple!
Tuesday, November 1st- 7.30 pm; The Singer's Forum: 49. W 24th Street, 4th Floor (off 6th Avenue). One hour- no intermission.
About the Concert:
Have you have been to a recital and found it to be, well, boring? Where a singer is standing there and you don't know what the heck they are screaming about? Don't worry- we feel the same way! We are the Voices of Women quartet and we have a vision – to take the recital out of recital by presenting a story of songs in a cabaret revue. As four professional trained classical singers, we take influences from everything from opera to jazz, from classical to cabaret, with the goal of focusing these influences towards the expansion of classical repertoire under the guise of a modern stage. On Saturday, October 29th (8 pm) and Tuesday, November 1 (7.30 pm), we are presenting our new recital, “Loss and Find" at the Singers Forum (49 W 24th St # 4). In "Loss & Find," we will explore and earnestly share with you our individual stories in how music and life interchange.
"Loss & Find" is comprised of American Art songs by well-known composers as Lee Hoiby, Ricky Ian Gordon, Ned Rorem and Aaron Copland as well as not so well-known composers, Richard Hageman and Amy Beech. We are thrilled to perform commissioned quartets by contemporary composer, Richard Pearson, who just happens to be accompanying us, as well as featuring local New York City composer, Joseph Turrin. Lastly, Rod Gomez, singer and opera director extraordinaire, will direct the program.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Meeting Anna/Anna
I had the great pleasure of seeing the open rehearsal of the Met's "Anna Bolena" starring Anna Netrebko. For Mr. Tommasini's review in the New York Times, click here. I completely disagree with his view of the production and direction and singing, but his article has nice pictures and videos. However, this isn't a critical rebuttal to his article; but rather, I would like to discuss the female role in opera and the opera's role in the society it was written for (in 1830).
Anna Bolena- the opera- based on the execution of Anne Boleyn- has nothing to do with any historical fact. In fact, she is quite opposite from the truth- as described in the program notes. The librettist just did what we do now- take famous historical stories and reinvent them for commercial success- just like Broadway with movie scripts and cable with The Tudors, Spartacus, The Borgias, etc.
However, what makes this opera so intriguing is that it is completely historically inaccurate. In fact, just like today- it's so false that it has to be a reflection of the time in which it was written. And what is about is women.
First, the 2 women- Anna Bolena- and her lady in Waiting- Giovanna (yep- that's Jane Seymour folks!) are completely trapped. Anna is married to a king, who previous got rid of his first wife, and she is worried he has the same ideas for her. Henry has eyes for Giovanna- and she can't say no because he is the king. Ironically, they both sing about fate and the heavens- as having no choice over their situation- but I think a better word would be "husband" and "lover/king". And, conveniently- the "heavens" have made both women fall in love with him, too, because its better to pretend this desperate feeling they feel is love and not slavery.
We move to the 2nd act- the famous scene between Anna and Giovanna. Giovanna finally tells Anna she is the king's mistress and Anna, through bitter tears, tells Giovanna that she forgives her and leaves it again to the heavens. I would like to interpret this as Anna forgiving Giovanna because she too understands her fate as a woman- that she has no choice- and knows it's up to Henry, aka "the heavens" as to what the next step is. Of course, this being an opera- there is romantic jealousies at play- but I believe Anna Netrebko played the scene with much texture by adding this subtext and I think it was brilliant.
Meanwhile, Anna's old lover, Percy, ruins it all because he has to take credit for having Anna love him first and for Anna maybe being married to him first (which would make her marriage to Henry false and therefore his plea on adultery invalid). This just pissed me off. I wanted to scream- "Shut up!! Henry was forgiving her and then you come in and ruin it! Why did you come at all?!" Well- he came because he is a man- fate/heavens- and his point of view takes precedence over Anna's. Furthermore, when she doesn't deny that she married Percy first- I think this is the beginning of the unraveling to Anna's madness. I state this because the entire 1st act, and prior scene with Giovanna, is about her honor- and her daughter's honor. Why would she forsake all of that? And, if Anna really married against her will (aka- it was the "heavens" that made her do it)- couldn't she have used Percy to defend her then?
Then, Anna goes mad.
So- what reflection of society am I seeing here?
Well- Violetta- written about 20 years later- is also about a woman stuck. She has no choice and leaves it to fate to forgive her. When Alfredo comes in, as she lays dying, she is forgiven and knows that she will have a cross and flowers and tears at her grave- her dying wish. Something, about 2 minutes prior, she was very fearful she would never have.
I, thanks to women's lib, have no idea what this feels like. And, for this to be such a strong theme during this time, these tragic notions that woman have no power and it's up to God to figure it out- that this runs so pervasive throughout all repertoire at this time- is something I think we women actors today take advantage of. Or, at least- I do!! Women had no choice- they didn't even know what that word meant. This total disregard of "choice" was so integrated into society that it seeped through each scene as fact- like rain or sunshine or crying babies. And, if a woman was stuck in the situation society put her in, she went mad or was forgiven at the last moment by a man. Finally, stacked on top of this lays the action, the characters, the singing, the music.
As a side note- despite Tommasini's opinion, I thought the McVicar's direction was brilliant. Because the scenery wasn't distracting, because the costumes were to the period, because McVicar let the actors do their job- I saw a story behind the disguise of this ridiculous false plot.
Anna Bolena- the opera- based on the execution of Anne Boleyn- has nothing to do with any historical fact. In fact, she is quite opposite from the truth- as described in the program notes. The librettist just did what we do now- take famous historical stories and reinvent them for commercial success- just like Broadway with movie scripts and cable with The Tudors, Spartacus, The Borgias, etc.
However, what makes this opera so intriguing is that it is completely historically inaccurate. In fact, just like today- it's so false that it has to be a reflection of the time in which it was written. And what is about is women.
First, the 2 women- Anna Bolena- and her lady in Waiting- Giovanna (yep- that's Jane Seymour folks!) are completely trapped. Anna is married to a king, who previous got rid of his first wife, and she is worried he has the same ideas for her. Henry has eyes for Giovanna- and she can't say no because he is the king. Ironically, they both sing about fate and the heavens- as having no choice over their situation- but I think a better word would be "husband" and "lover/king". And, conveniently- the "heavens" have made both women fall in love with him, too, because its better to pretend this desperate feeling they feel is love and not slavery.
We move to the 2nd act- the famous scene between Anna and Giovanna. Giovanna finally tells Anna she is the king's mistress and Anna, through bitter tears, tells Giovanna that she forgives her and leaves it again to the heavens. I would like to interpret this as Anna forgiving Giovanna because she too understands her fate as a woman- that she has no choice- and knows it's up to Henry, aka "the heavens" as to what the next step is. Of course, this being an opera- there is romantic jealousies at play- but I believe Anna Netrebko played the scene with much texture by adding this subtext and I think it was brilliant.
Meanwhile, Anna's old lover, Percy, ruins it all because he has to take credit for having Anna love him first and for Anna maybe being married to him first (which would make her marriage to Henry false and therefore his plea on adultery invalid). This just pissed me off. I wanted to scream- "Shut up!! Henry was forgiving her and then you come in and ruin it! Why did you come at all?!" Well- he came because he is a man- fate/heavens- and his point of view takes precedence over Anna's. Furthermore, when she doesn't deny that she married Percy first- I think this is the beginning of the unraveling to Anna's madness. I state this because the entire 1st act, and prior scene with Giovanna, is about her honor- and her daughter's honor. Why would she forsake all of that? And, if Anna really married against her will (aka- it was the "heavens" that made her do it)- couldn't she have used Percy to defend her then?
Then, Anna goes mad.
So- what reflection of society am I seeing here?
Well- Violetta- written about 20 years later- is also about a woman stuck. She has no choice and leaves it to fate to forgive her. When Alfredo comes in, as she lays dying, she is forgiven and knows that she will have a cross and flowers and tears at her grave- her dying wish. Something, about 2 minutes prior, she was very fearful she would never have.
I, thanks to women's lib, have no idea what this feels like. And, for this to be such a strong theme during this time, these tragic notions that woman have no power and it's up to God to figure it out- that this runs so pervasive throughout all repertoire at this time- is something I think we women actors today take advantage of. Or, at least- I do!! Women had no choice- they didn't even know what that word meant. This total disregard of "choice" was so integrated into society that it seeped through each scene as fact- like rain or sunshine or crying babies. And, if a woman was stuck in the situation society put her in, she went mad or was forgiven at the last moment by a man. Finally, stacked on top of this lays the action, the characters, the singing, the music.
As a side note- despite Tommasini's opinion, I thought the McVicar's direction was brilliant. Because the scenery wasn't distracting, because the costumes were to the period, because McVicar let the actors do their job- I saw a story behind the disguise of this ridiculous false plot.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Getting Outside Yourself
With all the ongoing Sept 11th reporting, and the horrible weather last week, I couldn't help but be down in the dumps. I was fortunately not personally effected by September 11th, but have friends who were and in devastating fashion. But, with all the reminders last week, I wanted to scream "ENOUGH!" It's just enough. It was horrible and yes, we should absolutely honor those who lost their lives, but let's do it when it's necessary to do it and not as a daily countdown leading up to the tragic reminder.
However, that being said, I did participate in a concert on September 10th with the September Concerts foundation and Art Song Preservation Society. It was a concert featuring American Composers' Songs of Hope and let me tell you- that's what I needed to hear and be part of. Plus, giving my voice to the cause really bounced my spirits back because we all need hope- and we all need to get out of ourselves and bring hope to our community, as often as we can. And by singing, the most personal "gift" I can bring, I felt that I was part of a healing community- not a depressed one that our media tries to convinces us that we must suffer from.
However, that being said, I did participate in a concert on September 10th with the September Concerts foundation and Art Song Preservation Society. It was a concert featuring American Composers' Songs of Hope and let me tell you- that's what I needed to hear and be part of. Plus, giving my voice to the cause really bounced my spirits back because we all need hope- and we all need to get out of ourselves and bring hope to our community, as often as we can. And by singing, the most personal "gift" I can bring, I felt that I was part of a healing community- not a depressed one that our media tries to convinces us that we must suffer from.
Friday, September 2, 2011
A "Type A" Revelation
As I was out running and listening to La Traviata (I told you I was Type A), I was marveled, yet again- at Beverly Sills's freakish talent. Then, I scrolled to Maria Callas- again, amazing. Then, to Renata..OK! I GET IT!
But-wait- I really did get it. These singers are AMAZING. And the reason they are AMAZING is because they are SUPER STARS and the reason they are SUPER STARS is because they are AMAZING!
Why-oh-why did I have them set as the bar in school? And why-oh-why am I continuing to do this? What was/am I thinking? I am not Beverly, I am not Maria, I am not Renata or Anna or Joan. I am me! And it's pretty amazing that I can sing the same damn high notes as these ladies, and do high pianissimo sorta...almost...ok, close but darn impressive, just like them. So, can't I just leave it at that? Why all this pressure to be "just like them." THEY are amazing. I am pretty good- and I will take that any day when it comes to singing opera!
But-wait- I really did get it. These singers are AMAZING. And the reason they are AMAZING is because they are SUPER STARS and the reason they are SUPER STARS is because they are AMAZING!
Why-oh-why did I have them set as the bar in school? And why-oh-why am I continuing to do this? What was/am I thinking? I am not Beverly, I am not Maria, I am not Renata or Anna or Joan. I am me! And it's pretty amazing that I can sing the same damn high notes as these ladies, and do high pianissimo sorta...almost...ok, close but darn impressive, just like them. So, can't I just leave it at that? Why all this pressure to be "just like them." THEY are amazing. I am pretty good- and I will take that any day when it comes to singing opera!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Dreams and Hurricanes
In this time of being hunkered down in my non-low level apartment in Brooklyn, I feel that as a busy NYer, I am finally forced to be indulgent and to take time to reflect.
What makes an amazing performance? How can I take my experience from a humbled observer to performer?
When I see amazing performances, it's not so much the technical feat or the beauty of sound, but what the sole artist brings towards their interpretation. Nothing was more clear to me than Tyne Daily's amazing performance as Maria Callas in Master Class. Her skill as an actress is unparallelled. To do that role, night after night, with as much clarity and energy as she does, is unbelievable. But, that is not what left me breathless- it was her ability to bring sympathy and a wonderful sense of humor to the role...which, I think, is all Tyne.
I also work full time for a wonderful actor. He also shares the same talents that I describe above for Tyne. And, I think why he is so successful and why he resonates so deeply with his fans is that he lets his personality come through his characters.
So, as I have learned all these years- it's finally dawning on me that to be great, you have to get out of your own way and just be who you are, who I am- Courtenay Schowalter- in the role I am portraying. Only then are you being honest to the character and ultimately, the craft.
What makes an amazing performance? How can I take my experience from a humbled observer to performer?
When I see amazing performances, it's not so much the technical feat or the beauty of sound, but what the sole artist brings towards their interpretation. Nothing was more clear to me than Tyne Daily's amazing performance as Maria Callas in Master Class. Her skill as an actress is unparallelled. To do that role, night after night, with as much clarity and energy as she does, is unbelievable. But, that is not what left me breathless- it was her ability to bring sympathy and a wonderful sense of humor to the role...which, I think, is all Tyne.
I also work full time for a wonderful actor. He also shares the same talents that I describe above for Tyne. And, I think why he is so successful and why he resonates so deeply with his fans is that he lets his personality come through his characters.
So, as I have learned all these years- it's finally dawning on me that to be great, you have to get out of your own way and just be who you are, who I am- Courtenay Schowalter- in the role I am portraying. Only then are you being honest to the character and ultimately, the craft.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Bloggedy Blogged Blogged Blog
So, I have been absent dear reader. All I can say is that I have been practicing- truly- well...after a month hiatus. It was too hot and all the BBQ gave me reflux. But, seriously, I am BACK and with a vengeance. I had to take a vocal break. To sing for the sake of singing, when I have been programed to "have a career," is a bit indulgent. But now, I am finally enjoying the sweet taste. Truly, I am singing for myself because...and this is important...I WANT to! Not because I want to develop my technique either- or to improve my sound- or my vowels- or my language-- but, because, I love the sheer power of singing. Of opening my voice and having a lion roar come out of my size 6 waist. Because this is how I clear my head and reconnect with myself. Not because I have an audition, or a show, or a coaching or a lesson or any other outside force propelling me to "improve" and move ahead. Because I want to ... dammit! ;)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Lowering the Floor
I've been on vacation so this is a brief one..but something that resonated with my voice teacher before I left, so I feel I should right it down.
Lowering the floor.
Try it. Instead of thinking the ceiling expanding as you sing the high notes, or not existing....try lowering the floor instead.
Singers will get this use of metaphor ;)
Lowering the floor.
Try it. Instead of thinking the ceiling expanding as you sing the high notes, or not existing....try lowering the floor instead.
Singers will get this use of metaphor ;)
Monday, June 27, 2011
the art of flirting
It's only too ironic that I fell in love with La Traviata in high school. Unfortunately, I never translated the score and had I done that, I would have had a much more successful high school experience!
It's only more satisfactory, now in my ripe puma age of 34, and away from the score while I translated ACT I that I really had my "ah ha" moment. The words seems are direct...and yet, put to Verdi's music...total and complete flirtatious manipulation!
Here is the background: Alfredo, the tenor, has been infatuated with Violetta while she was ill- and Alfredo's love sickness ruminated for about a year. Alas, Violetta was literally too sick to notice. At the start of the opera they are at a party hosted by a cabin-fevered Violetta when her good friend, Gaston, tells her about this young lad. Now, I am not sure if she believes him, or - what my instinct say- believes that of course Alfredo is in love with her- but, either way, she banishes it off as nonsense (her current suitor is a richer man, after all). Then, after a rousing chorus number of "let's get drunk and screw" (Libiamo), Violetta feels faint and excuses herself to her private quarters (not a ruse- she really doesn't feel well). There, Alfredo meets her and declares her love for him. He says:
Ah yes, for a year. One day, happy and ethereal, you flashed before me, and from that day, trembling, I’ve lived for an unknown love. For that love, that love that’s the pulse of the universe, the whole universe, mysterious, unattainable, cross and delight of the heart.
Not bad for a youngster, eh?
Then, Violetta says:
Ah, if that is true then leave as fast as you can… I can only offer you friendship; I don’t know how to love, nor how to handle such heroic passion. I am frank, simple; look for someone else; then you won’t find it difficult to forget me.
Ok- fair enough. She said her peace...end of opera! But-- how Verdi sets this (and music history buff note- Verdi was a terror to his librettist= every word mattered, all the more reason to see how intentional his meaning lies in the music).
In this "frank" and "simple" declaration- he writes pianissimo (quiet), high (above the staff), staccati sixteenth notes with rests (very quick notes followed by a brief pause)- almost like a cooing. She COOS this to him.
Now, I am a horrible HORRIBLE flirt. I run in the other direction or totally completely embarrass myself by saying ridiculous nonsensical things, so I am NO expert on flirting. But, if I really wanted a boy to go away, I would say- go away. If I wanted to be obvious, I would say- hell yes. But, if I wanted him to know I was interested but only had to say these things to entice him and perhaps, make him work harder...I would coo-ly and cool-y reply, Hm...you should leave me be...I'm a simple girl.
Oh why didn't I notice this 10 years ago?? How much more fun my 20s would have been!!
It's only more satisfactory, now in my ripe puma age of 34, and away from the score while I translated ACT I that I really had my "ah ha" moment. The words seems are direct...and yet, put to Verdi's music...total and complete flirtatious manipulation!
Here is the background: Alfredo, the tenor, has been infatuated with Violetta while she was ill- and Alfredo's love sickness ruminated for about a year. Alas, Violetta was literally too sick to notice. At the start of the opera they are at a party hosted by a cabin-fevered Violetta when her good friend, Gaston, tells her about this young lad. Now, I am not sure if she believes him, or - what my instinct say- believes that of course Alfredo is in love with her- but, either way, she banishes it off as nonsense (her current suitor is a richer man, after all). Then, after a rousing chorus number of "let's get drunk and screw" (Libiamo), Violetta feels faint and excuses herself to her private quarters (not a ruse- she really doesn't feel well). There, Alfredo meets her and declares her love for him. He says:
Ah yes, for a year. One day, happy and ethereal, you flashed before me, and from that day, trembling, I’ve lived for an unknown love. For that love, that love that’s the pulse of the universe, the whole universe, mysterious, unattainable, cross and delight of the heart.
Not bad for a youngster, eh?
Then, Violetta says:
Ah, if that is true then leave as fast as you can… I can only offer you friendship; I don’t know how to love, nor how to handle such heroic passion. I am frank, simple; look for someone else; then you won’t find it difficult to forget me.
Ok- fair enough. She said her peace...end of opera! But-- how Verdi sets this (and music history buff note- Verdi was a terror to his librettist= every word mattered, all the more reason to see how intentional his meaning lies in the music).
In this "frank" and "simple" declaration- he writes pianissimo (quiet), high (above the staff), staccati sixteenth notes with rests (very quick notes followed by a brief pause)- almost like a cooing. She COOS this to him.
Now, I am a horrible HORRIBLE flirt. I run in the other direction or totally completely embarrass myself by saying ridiculous nonsensical things, so I am NO expert on flirting. But, if I really wanted a boy to go away, I would say- go away. If I wanted to be obvious, I would say- hell yes. But, if I wanted him to know I was interested but only had to say these things to entice him and perhaps, make him work harder...I would coo-ly and cool-y reply, Hm...you should leave me be...I'm a simple girl.
Oh why didn't I notice this 10 years ago?? How much more fun my 20s would have been!!
Monday, June 13, 2011
ART SONG vs ARIA SMACK DOWN!!
I am organizing an ART SONG vs ARIA smack down next Tuesday, June 21st- as part of the Make Music New York festival.
Art Song Preservation Society will be joining Amore Opera in a "who wrote this medium best" smack down at Tompkins Square Park, from 5-7 pm.
Be there for the most exciting and titillating competition since Justin Timberlake and Brittney Spear's Dance off!
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=173973839331046
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A letter to New York City Opera
Dear City Opera,
First and foremost, congratulations! You are finally out of the towering omnipresence of the Metropolitan Opera; unfortunately, they no longer have you as their constant reminder of what the people's opera should be.
You are leaving Lincoln Center- a tourist wonder that produces marvelous classical works with a new theatre newly built to support your needs. You won't have the classical Illuminati at your beck and call, perhaps; but, you will have freedom to be the opera company you should be. A true people's opera- a cooperative of good, smart musical works told the old fashion way, with good singing, good acting, simple sets and costumes. And, finally, allowing the story to be told in a theatrical context and not a multi-media one.
I hope your new home supports these ideas. With the onslaught of media every where we look, wouldn't it be refreshing to NY audiences to see sung theatre? Imagine the possibilities of stripping it all down and letting the music tell its story...not conductors, not singers, not directors and certainly not administrators and their marketing directors. Perhaps if you let good theatre be, people will come the old fashion and secured way- word of mouth.
Finally, regarding your friends, the unions. I certainly hope American Guild of Musical Artists leaves you alone. You create jobs for singers and its apparent you don't have a lot of money right now. So I hope they continue to let you create and keep jobs and not at the cost of their ego. And, Local 1, they are great people and their work is important - but I hope they are careful at what they wish for. This could be the beginning of their demise because by letting you leave, they are telling the world they don't care about you or the arts in general. And, your old buddy, Lincoln Center- we get it, operational costs are skyrocketing and going with the highest bidder is the smart choice. But the arts is your bread and butter, too- and soon there will be no audience left who understands how important classical arts are.
Best of luck to you, City Opera! I hope you enjoy your new digs! I am excited to come to your housewarming party.
Your friend,
Courtenay
PS- I would love it if you visited me in Brooklyn!
First and foremost, congratulations! You are finally out of the towering omnipresence of the Metropolitan Opera; unfortunately, they no longer have you as their constant reminder of what the people's opera should be.
You are leaving Lincoln Center- a tourist wonder that produces marvelous classical works with a new theatre newly built to support your needs. You won't have the classical Illuminati at your beck and call, perhaps; but, you will have freedom to be the opera company you should be. A true people's opera- a cooperative of good, smart musical works told the old fashion way, with good singing, good acting, simple sets and costumes. And, finally, allowing the story to be told in a theatrical context and not a multi-media one.
I hope your new home supports these ideas. With the onslaught of media every where we look, wouldn't it be refreshing to NY audiences to see sung theatre? Imagine the possibilities of stripping it all down and letting the music tell its story...not conductors, not singers, not directors and certainly not administrators and their marketing directors. Perhaps if you let good theatre be, people will come the old fashion and secured way- word of mouth.
Finally, regarding your friends, the unions. I certainly hope American Guild of Musical Artists leaves you alone. You create jobs for singers and its apparent you don't have a lot of money right now. So I hope they continue to let you create and keep jobs and not at the cost of their ego. And, Local 1, they are great people and their work is important - but I hope they are careful at what they wish for. This could be the beginning of their demise because by letting you leave, they are telling the world they don't care about you or the arts in general. And, your old buddy, Lincoln Center- we get it, operational costs are skyrocketing and going with the highest bidder is the smart choice. But the arts is your bread and butter, too- and soon there will be no audience left who understands how important classical arts are.
Best of luck to you, City Opera! I hope you enjoy your new digs! I am excited to come to your housewarming party.
Your friend,
Courtenay
PS- I would love it if you visited me in Brooklyn!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Carmen- Singing Frasquita at Amore Opera
Hi Friends, I am associate producer for this production as well as covering Frasquita (performance with piano Wed, May 18th at 7.30 pm). Please come! www.amoreopera.org
Monday, May 2, 2011
Cajones
On Friday night, I went to a lovely concert- everyone played perfectly, beautiful balanced classical music...perfect perfect perfect and boring boring bored.
They didn't play with their cajones.
Immediately juxtaposed in my mind was the royal wedding that was also "performed" last Friday. A perfect celebration and ceremony that left me misty-eyed. Why? I don't know these people! Yet, despite all pomp and circumstance and an extravagant show of wealth, I was moved to tears. I think the reason is that people look to royalty is so that they can see themselves as a perfect version of themselves. And I think classical music also does this same thing; the perfectness of it all is what we crave in this crazy society. But, we are all human beings and we shouldn't have to act castrated to be perfect! Prince William's behavior, by blushing, telling Kate she looked beautiful, Harry laughing, driving away in a convertible, etc. took an extremely high profile event and transformed it to a normal beautiful emotional wedding. They were human beings- perfect lovely laughing excited human beings- every detail perfectly executed and with emotion.
Now, take Mozart, and again- it's all in the details and making it "look easy". This group did exactly that. But there was no emotion to their performance. They were playing loud because Mozart said so- but they didn't think WHY he marked it thus. And Mozart- he was a randy guy. He liked to flirt with women- play into the give and take and flirticious (I just made that word up) courtly games. That is why his music is so delightful- there is a conversation with every phrase with humor interspersed throughout. But, this performance- no conversation, no courtly games, no cajones.
Violetta- well, you know where I am going with this and I think she has made me a better singer because I have to use my cajones. Not only because she is woman who desires, but for the simple reason that I have to engage my entire body to sing the wide range Verdi lays out for me. The breath has to be connected and what a better way to connect to your breath then with your cajones! Now, Verdi and Mozart are very different composers- but not really- they want the same thing. Verdi's Violetta is more obvious, but I bet if you took a time machine and met Mozart he would be more then happy with your "cajones enhanced" interpretation.
They didn't play with their cajones.
Immediately juxtaposed in my mind was the royal wedding that was also "performed" last Friday. A perfect celebration and ceremony that left me misty-eyed. Why? I don't know these people! Yet, despite all pomp and circumstance and an extravagant show of wealth, I was moved to tears. I think the reason is that people look to royalty is so that they can see themselves as a perfect version of themselves. And I think classical music also does this same thing; the perfectness of it all is what we crave in this crazy society. But, we are all human beings and we shouldn't have to act castrated to be perfect! Prince William's behavior, by blushing, telling Kate she looked beautiful, Harry laughing, driving away in a convertible, etc. took an extremely high profile event and transformed it to a normal beautiful emotional wedding. They were human beings- perfect lovely laughing excited human beings- every detail perfectly executed and with emotion.
Now, take Mozart, and again- it's all in the details and making it "look easy". This group did exactly that. But there was no emotion to their performance. They were playing loud because Mozart said so- but they didn't think WHY he marked it thus. And Mozart- he was a randy guy. He liked to flirt with women- play into the give and take and flirticious (I just made that word up) courtly games. That is why his music is so delightful- there is a conversation with every phrase with humor interspersed throughout. But, this performance- no conversation, no courtly games, no cajones.
Violetta- well, you know where I am going with this and I think she has made me a better singer because I have to use my cajones. Not only because she is woman who desires, but for the simple reason that I have to engage my entire body to sing the wide range Verdi lays out for me. The breath has to be connected and what a better way to connect to your breath then with your cajones! Now, Verdi and Mozart are very different composers- but not really- they want the same thing. Verdi's Violetta is more obvious, but I bet if you took a time machine and met Mozart he would be more then happy with your "cajones enhanced" interpretation.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Who has time for Facebook?
I am covering Frasquita in Amore Opera's Carmen next month. The experience has been very fun- beautiful music, fun colleagues; and, bonus- when I am not singing the role, I am helping Amore Opera in the production aspect by being an associate producer. Of course, when a singer takes on the role to participate in an opera- it's a dream! Yeah- finally- on stage and working with colleagues and being submersed in music. But then...I went to my Art Song Preservation Society meeting this past Saturday and oh-Faure! oh-Duparc! oh-Wolf! oh-Debussy! My friends- my constant companions- how I have been neglecting you!
So how does one do it- have a full time job, volunteer at 2 non profit music organizations, learn Violetta, learn Frasquita and then find 30 minutes to sit down and reacquaint myself with my old pals? Not to mention continually working on my "5" (five arias) for any auditions that may spring up. Don't I have friends and a boyfriend, too (oh- and a chest cold for 2 weeks)??
In my last post I wrote about the irony of insomnia. Now, I am sleeping fine and accomplishing a lot in my day. But, it's never enough because there is so much MORE I want to do and learn! When I am not reading about World War II Paris France, I am listening to Elly Ameling (or Sufjan Stevens) on my ipod, or memorizing Frasquita at a rapid pace and continually reading through my Traviata score.
Honestly, it's fantastic and I can't imagine another way to be!
(well, if I were living in the 1800s there would be less songs and operas to learn- just think about that!!)
So how does one do it- have a full time job, volunteer at 2 non profit music organizations, learn Violetta, learn Frasquita and then find 30 minutes to sit down and reacquaint myself with my old pals? Not to mention continually working on my "5" (five arias) for any auditions that may spring up. Don't I have friends and a boyfriend, too (oh- and a chest cold for 2 weeks)??
In my last post I wrote about the irony of insomnia. Now, I am sleeping fine and accomplishing a lot in my day. But, it's never enough because there is so much MORE I want to do and learn! When I am not reading about World War II Paris France, I am listening to Elly Ameling (or Sufjan Stevens) on my ipod, or memorizing Frasquita at a rapid pace and continually reading through my Traviata score.
Honestly, it's fantastic and I can't imagine another way to be!
(well, if I were living in the 1800s there would be less songs and operas to learn- just think about that!!)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Maybe Insomia is a Good Thing?
I am a wonderful fantastic sleeper and a horrible miserable morning person. I have always liked this co-dependent relationship: I sleep well and no one expects me to be human after the fact. But, now, here I find myself, the second time this week, with RAGING insomnia. I've been up since 4 am (it's now 7 am)- wishing it were 4 pm or better yet- 6 pm and practicing. How many times have I wished for "more time" so I could practice? And, how many times have I wished to be a morning person (but not in the sake for losing sleep- never!) so I could get more accomplished in my day (and then take a nap at 2 pm)! But alas, what we singers forget is that no one wants to hear us sing at 7 am. That is the beauty of living in a NYC apartment. I can't start practicing until at least 11 am (it's a Saturday morning). So- translations? you betcha- right after I stop blogging.
So...what is it that morning people do anyway? Take naps in the afternoon?
So...what is it that morning people do anyway? Take naps in the afternoon?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Migraines
They never tell you that migraines would be an issue when it comes to learning a role. Colds, yes; Bronchial infections, yes; but debilitating flat-as-a-pancake in-bed-all-day migraines? Nope. And at least with colds, you can still read, still memorize, still translate...still THINK!
So, I apologize I haven't written in a few weeks. With each and every storm that comes to NYC, my body is a walking weather vane and off to bed I must go. The few hours I have had to myself- where I am not sleeping, cleaning, or catching up on work- I go to Violetta. It's nice to know she is there, ready to be sung at a moment's notice.
Perhaps it's not my reoccurring illness with my vocal cords in my twenties, but my debilitating migraines in my thirties that will bond Violetta and me. We both know to appreciate all that you have now and do all that you can while you are able. Thank god mine aren't as serious as her TB, but the not knowing if you can plan a week without falling sick- it's a stress that I know to well, and so does she.
Off to acupuncture! Fingers crossed this works!
So, I apologize I haven't written in a few weeks. With each and every storm that comes to NYC, my body is a walking weather vane and off to bed I must go. The few hours I have had to myself- where I am not sleeping, cleaning, or catching up on work- I go to Violetta. It's nice to know she is there, ready to be sung at a moment's notice.
Perhaps it's not my reoccurring illness with my vocal cords in my twenties, but my debilitating migraines in my thirties that will bond Violetta and me. We both know to appreciate all that you have now and do all that you can while you are able. Thank god mine aren't as serious as her TB, but the not knowing if you can plan a week without falling sick- it's a stress that I know to well, and so does she.
Off to acupuncture! Fingers crossed this works!
Monday, February 14, 2011
The sweet spot (and no, I am not being dirty)
I went to a recital the other day and sadly, I was uninspired. I couldn't figure it out as it usually just takes me being in a room with a singer and a piano to make me feel alive. But this time- not so much. The voice--good, the pianist--good, the repertoire--good. But, was it musical? No. Somehow the singer was trying too hard and the pianist not enough and it left a big gaping hole in the recital hall. There was no "sweet spot." A"sweet spot" is a magical place where the singer is present and the character is present- both working together to tell a story. They are the process that unfolds in real stage time. I think it is what defines someone as being musical...which leads me to today's blog.
I have learned all the notes for Act III. I have translated it, worked the Italian in my voice and in the musical line, created phrases that make musical sense, and I read about Violetta and the muses to her legend. So, it's time to take that next step--to find that magical meeting point where technique just does what its supposed to do, the research gives me a base to stand upon and I discover that sweet spot that leads me to Violetta.
Frankly, I am scared shitless! I keep finding myself looking into other sections to learn. After all, I couldn't possibly meet her in ACT III! I have to start in the beginning, right? But, I know that is fear and I know that this part of my journey is the best part of the journey. I am only afraid I won't find it.
Deep breathe...one step at a time!
I have learned all the notes for Act III. I have translated it, worked the Italian in my voice and in the musical line, created phrases that make musical sense, and I read about Violetta and the muses to her legend. So, it's time to take that next step--to find that magical meeting point where technique just does what its supposed to do, the research gives me a base to stand upon and I discover that sweet spot that leads me to Violetta.
Frankly, I am scared shitless! I keep finding myself looking into other sections to learn. After all, I couldn't possibly meet her in ACT III! I have to start in the beginning, right? But, I know that is fear and I know that this part of my journey is the best part of the journey. I am only afraid I won't find it.
Deep breathe...one step at a time!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Chicken or Egg Part II- Marinara Sauce
So, I am learning ACT III- taking in the text with the pronunciation with the music all at the same time and thinking- why was this so discouraged by everyone (teachers, coaches) before? This is so much easier and the other way (taking it all apart as 3 separate entities- notes, text, Italian) is clearly on the way to schizophrenia! If I were a cooking student, I would need to understand what garlic does, what onion does, the importance in the difference between canola oil and olive oil (if anyone knows- let me know!). But then, you mix it up and voila- you have an awesome base for marinara sauce.
For singing- it doesn't work this way.First, I am no longer a student. And yes, you need to know the notes, and then the rhythm with the notes, and how to pronounce Italian and then what that Italian means. But, when you put it together...well, a fantastic sauce doesn't always happen. Usually, in my experience, I have one pungent garlic clove and not enough olive oil. This, I am finding, is because as I speak Italian, I try so hard to speak it as an Italian. But then, while I am singing, well- it's not like speaking and I end up doing a disservice by trying to "fit" the vowels in the notes. Which is bad singing and frankly, very hard work. Or, if I have a specific phrase sung out in an ah- and then I have to stuff in all the tiny but specific ever-changing vowels with a consonant thrown in for good measure into a 16th note...well, there I go again re-figuring it all out to make it fit together, sound good, and make sense.
With this new approach- learning each note with it's designated vowel within the musical line- and what this musical line means both in Italian and in musical phrasing- well, you get that awesome base for marinara sauce.
For singing- it doesn't work this way.First, I am no longer a student. And yes, you need to know the notes, and then the rhythm with the notes, and how to pronounce Italian and then what that Italian means. But, when you put it together...well, a fantastic sauce doesn't always happen. Usually, in my experience, I have one pungent garlic clove and not enough olive oil. This, I am finding, is because as I speak Italian, I try so hard to speak it as an Italian. But then, while I am singing, well- it's not like speaking and I end up doing a disservice by trying to "fit" the vowels in the notes. Which is bad singing and frankly, very hard work. Or, if I have a specific phrase sung out in an ah- and then I have to stuff in all the tiny but specific ever-changing vowels with a consonant thrown in for good measure into a 16th note...well, there I go again re-figuring it all out to make it fit together, sound good, and make sense.
With this new approach- learning each note with it's designated vowel within the musical line- and what this musical line means both in Italian and in musical phrasing- well, you get that awesome base for marinara sauce.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Violetta Here and Now
We splurged and bought tickets to the new production of La Traviata at the Metropolitan Opera (directed by Willy Decker, starring the fiery Marina Poplavskaya and sweet sounding Matthew Polenzani). I had read various articles on the production and knowing about it's now infamous sparse set I was a little apprehensive about what I was going to see. As you know, I have been doing research on Violetta in her time...I had no idea what Violetta in my time would look like.
And, ironically, it was all about time and it worked brilliantly.
The set is sparse: large white walls with a dark screen behind it, illuminating dark colors or wallpaper-like imagery. The entire chorus and Flora, Violetta's friend, are dressed like men (suits and short hair and all). There are maybe 3 costume "transformations" for Violetta: a fantastic red party dress, a colorful robe, and a pale dirty sheath. This was not the beloved lush (old and worn out) set of last year...or 20 years ago! This was a different kind of Met and I loved it!
The sparseness was symbolic towards her emotional world, illustrating how little she has in life other then men. When she is with Alfredo in the country house- the various sofas introduced in ACT 1 are covered in vivacious flower drapes, illustrating that her new life is just a cover up from her old one and that her old life is only one slip away. Then, the final act has her just lying on the floor and awaiting death. Needless to say, it was very powerful.
However, the most captivating element of this new production was the introduction of one character and the development of a lesser one. The former is a giant clock- ticking away to symbolize her imminent death and allowing the audience to see her relationship with it. She does this by stopping the hands of the clock, or covering it up. However, most importantly, this new character allows the singer to direct her emotions to something/someone else on stage. This device is even more profound with the development of the Doctor's character. Traditionally, he is introduced in the 3rd ACT and has a few lines. In Decker's production, he is on the stage 30 minutes before the opera even begins, silently watching Violetta and Violetta commenting to him with the direction of her voice or angry glances or embraces, for the duration of the entire opera. These new dimensions added a new tension to the opera. For example, as she relents to Mr. Germont's request and agrees to leave Alfredo, she looks at the doctor/Death and sings that her time is coming to an end anyway. This adds a whole new layer of intensity to the drama. With jealousy, I would also think that this is more interesting for the actors. Instead of blaming "god" or "fate" and looking "wherever", they now have a very direct object in which to communicate their hatred, frustration and final release.
Moreover, what I, Courtenay, took out of this is the importance in telling a story. And it's not a story of 1860s but a story of today: a young woman who made choices that doesn't allow her to live the life she wants, and in this discovery she finds her strength. I only wish that if I ever do perform La Traviata in front of the audience- Mr. Decker will allow me to borrow a few ideas;) (...just kidding!)
And, ironically, it was all about time and it worked brilliantly.
The set is sparse: large white walls with a dark screen behind it, illuminating dark colors or wallpaper-like imagery. The entire chorus and Flora, Violetta's friend, are dressed like men (suits and short hair and all). There are maybe 3 costume "transformations" for Violetta: a fantastic red party dress, a colorful robe, and a pale dirty sheath. This was not the beloved lush (old and worn out) set of last year...or 20 years ago! This was a different kind of Met and I loved it!
The sparseness was symbolic towards her emotional world, illustrating how little she has in life other then men. When she is with Alfredo in the country house- the various sofas introduced in ACT 1 are covered in vivacious flower drapes, illustrating that her new life is just a cover up from her old one and that her old life is only one slip away. Then, the final act has her just lying on the floor and awaiting death. Needless to say, it was very powerful.
However, the most captivating element of this new production was the introduction of one character and the development of a lesser one. The former is a giant clock- ticking away to symbolize her imminent death and allowing the audience to see her relationship with it. She does this by stopping the hands of the clock, or covering it up. However, most importantly, this new character allows the singer to direct her emotions to something/someone else on stage. This device is even more profound with the development of the Doctor's character. Traditionally, he is introduced in the 3rd ACT and has a few lines. In Decker's production, he is on the stage 30 minutes before the opera even begins, silently watching Violetta and Violetta commenting to him with the direction of her voice or angry glances or embraces, for the duration of the entire opera. These new dimensions added a new tension to the opera. For example, as she relents to Mr. Germont's request and agrees to leave Alfredo, she looks at the doctor/Death and sings that her time is coming to an end anyway. This adds a whole new layer of intensity to the drama. With jealousy, I would also think that this is more interesting for the actors. Instead of blaming "god" or "fate" and looking "wherever", they now have a very direct object in which to communicate their hatred, frustration and final release.
Moreover, what I, Courtenay, took out of this is the importance in telling a story. And it's not a story of 1860s but a story of today: a young woman who made choices that doesn't allow her to live the life she wants, and in this discovery she finds her strength. I only wish that if I ever do perform La Traviata in front of the audience- Mr. Decker will allow me to borrow a few ideas;) (...just kidding!)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Getting out of your own way- yeah or nay?
I had another "Voices of Women" concert this past Thursday night. I sing with 3 talented diverse women in a show we wrote called "We'd Be Surprisingly Good For You." I am particularly proud of it because it tells one distinct story- women in Manhattan looking for love and actually finding it. And, we do this by taking Musical Theatre/American Song Book songs from various composers and their time periods to tell this story. This was the 2nd performance.
We started this evening, however, with a "warm-up" of our favorite songs. The other women mostly sang Standards and American Musical Theatre. I sang Poulenc: a French composer of the early 20th century- prolific during the wars and thereafter. His songs come from the traditional French melodies style- using mostly well known poetry of the time, some of the dada/surrealist period, some of the romantic period, with contemporary tonal structures. Let me tell you--- I was MUCH more comfortable singing these songs.
Which leads me to ask...why? The show is my native language. I helped create it so there is a personal connection. I am in a happy coupledom, so maybe my desire to meet men has become flaccid (yes, using that term on purpose)? Or, maybe I just felt that I was "performing" and not "telling a story?"
When I sing in a foreign language it is easy to hide away myself and get out of my own way to tell the story. Sometimes this is a detriment, as the real Courtenay sits back and watches, without a heightened emotional drive to express the song truthfully (says my old acting coach). But, otherwise, telling someone else's story is so much more interesting to me then telling my own (for once!). And, of course, using my own experiences to add color to that person's story so it comes from a true place. But, for whatever strange reason, when I sing in English, I feel like I am being false. Isn't that odd? Maybe it is too much Courtenay visiting a strange land and not enough of the silent watcher from behind letting the character make choices? Or maybe speaking English makes me feel emotionally naked, vulnerable and uncomfortable so I "perform" to mask this discomfort? I simply do not know.
Whatever the answer may be, I am happy to get back into Violetta again---immersing myself in the colors of Verdi. Perhaps, the same way Violetta immersed herself in Paris? Whether either of us are being true to ourselves and our story, I shall soon find out!
We started this evening, however, with a "warm-up" of our favorite songs. The other women mostly sang Standards and American Musical Theatre. I sang Poulenc: a French composer of the early 20th century- prolific during the wars and thereafter. His songs come from the traditional French melodies style- using mostly well known poetry of the time, some of the dada/surrealist period, some of the romantic period, with contemporary tonal structures. Let me tell you--- I was MUCH more comfortable singing these songs.
Which leads me to ask...why? The show is my native language. I helped create it so there is a personal connection. I am in a happy coupledom, so maybe my desire to meet men has become flaccid (yes, using that term on purpose)? Or, maybe I just felt that I was "performing" and not "telling a story?"
When I sing in a foreign language it is easy to hide away myself and get out of my own way to tell the story. Sometimes this is a detriment, as the real Courtenay sits back and watches, without a heightened emotional drive to express the song truthfully (says my old acting coach). But, otherwise, telling someone else's story is so much more interesting to me then telling my own (for once!). And, of course, using my own experiences to add color to that person's story so it comes from a true place. But, for whatever strange reason, when I sing in English, I feel like I am being false. Isn't that odd? Maybe it is too much Courtenay visiting a strange land and not enough of the silent watcher from behind letting the character make choices? Or maybe speaking English makes me feel emotionally naked, vulnerable and uncomfortable so I "perform" to mask this discomfort? I simply do not know.
Whatever the answer may be, I am happy to get back into Violetta again---immersing myself in the colors of Verdi. Perhaps, the same way Violetta immersed herself in Paris? Whether either of us are being true to ourselves and our story, I shall soon find out!
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