Dreams and Hurricanes

In this time of being hunkered down in my non-low level apartment in Brooklyn, I feel that as a busy NYer, I am finally forced to be indulgent and to take time to reflect.

What makes an amazing performance? How can I take my experience from a humbled observer to performer?

When I see amazing performances, it's not so much the technical feat or the beauty of sound, but what the sole artist brings towards their interpretation. Nothing was more clear to me than Tyne Daily's amazing performance as Maria Callas in Master Class. Her skill as an actress is unparallelled. To do that role, night after night, with as much clarity and energy as she does, is unbelievable. But, that is not what left me breathless- it was her ability to bring sympathy and a wonderful sense of humor to the role...which, I think, is all Tyne.

I also work full time for a wonderful actor. He also shares the same talents that I describe above for Tyne. And, I think why he is so successful and why he resonates so deeply with his fans is that he lets his personality come through his characters.

So, as I have learned all these years- it's finally dawning on me that to be great, you have to get out of your own way and just be who you are, who I am- Courtenay Schowalter- in the role I am portraying. Only then are you being honest to the character and ultimately, the craft.

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So, I have been absent dear reader. All I can say is that I have been practicing- truly- well...after a month hiatus. It was too hot and all the BBQ gave me reflux. But, seriously, I am BACK and with a vengeance. I had to take a vocal break. To sing for the sake of singing, when I have been programed to "have a career," is a bit indulgent. But now, I am finally enjoying the sweet taste. Truly, I am singing for myself because...and this is important...I WANT to! Not because I want to develop my technique either- or to improve my sound- or my vowels- or my language-- but, because, I love the sheer power of singing. Of opening my voice and having a lion roar come out of my size 6 waist. Because this is how I clear my head and reconnect with myself. Not because I have an audition, or a show, or a coaching or a lesson or any other outside force propelling me to "improve" and move ahead. Because I want to ... dammit! ;)