First, for anyone who has seen the hilarious movie, <Untitled>, please know I am fully aware at how ironic I am being in writing a blog about it. But- I couldn't NOT comment on a movie that so closely imitates art that imitates life that imitates my life that imitates my art that I love. Let us begin...
<Untitled> is ultimately a very dark and funny conversation about what good art is. You have the artist who mass produces that horrible art everyone knows because it hangs in every lobby in every hotel in the USA. You have the art gallery owner using this same artist to actually financially support the crazy "post it note on the wall" art you find in Chelsea Art Galleries. Then, finally, all of this is underscored, literally, by a composer who writes extremely advant-garde music.
I am not up on the art scene- which <Untitled> makes fun of with humor and almost painful accuracy. It's with the poor composer that my heart (and the movie's -heart- if there is one) really embraced. What I found so poignant about composer's character is that he is so hell bent on making anything seem like something that actually nothing is being said at all (he literally kicks a bucket in his performance- without realizing how ironic he is actually being- he just likes the sound of the bucket being kicked). His frustration takes a turning point when he hears a very beautiful concert by an older composer (much older) and an audience member goes up to him and says, "I just don't get this? Why did you write this? I hope the next one is better" (which is hilarious and horrible because this guy is like 85 years old). The composer goes up to this older man and says, "How do you deal with this?" And the wise old man says, "It doesn't matter- you have to honor the process."
Which leads me to this blog. Part of writing a blog is exactly this- honoring the process. Whether it be singing, or working in the arts field behind the scene, or doing the dishes, all we really have is the process. All we have is here to there and what is in between. And when we realize there is this "in between", we slow down and focus on the here and now. I must say, I am really relishing in this right now.
But- what happens when the process sucks?
I am currently rehearsing for a concert I am not that thrilled about doing. And it's not because I think the concert is bad but because I am at that point where I rather do other things with my life. But, I joined up because a) I love to sing and b) I get to sing with my friends and c) some of the music is a challenge for me. However, it was June when I signed up; it's now October and that June person is far far away. The process for this concert has not been a good one. The music has been more challenging than I thought- which I am usually good about but when one's focus has shifted to not singing professionally anymore- one thinks- why did I do this to myself? Then, there have been many many rehearsals in far away places. So, we grin and bear it. Right? Hmm...I rather not- it's cheating the audience and cheating my experience (so I know not to do this again!). But- what about that June person? Why did she sign up again? Ah right...because of a) and b)- and let's not worry about c) so much. And by honoring that choice, I am honoring this experience.
How is that for process!?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Back to School Basics
This late July and early August I have been having back to school dreams - but not the nightmares of arriving after the test starts, or worse- naked and the test has already started; but, rather, the unexpected anticipation of a new start, of learning something new, of having a simple life when student loans and credit card debt and ... well, dreams that didn't turn out the way you thought they would... occur. And, coincidentally, I am singing in a few opera scenes this fall in a concert sponsored by Professional Women Singers Association (PWSA). And unlike in grad school (another post!), I am singing in languages that are not my mother's tongue. So, when told by my fellow Voices of Women member, Melissa, that she was IPAing her scenes, I thought she was insane. God- who the hell wants to do that? Don't I know all those things now? Isn't that beaten in my brain? Aren't I a...PROFESSIONAL?
But then, I thought- wait- I miss school, I miss the in the moment learning and taking things slow, so- why not?
And it was miraculous what I discovered. First, I definitely forgot a few things (I was IPA'ing Pamina in the finale of the Magic Flute). Like- ich is actually "I" and not "i" (same with dich!). And there are nuances with the umlauted o and au and all that. But, most importantly, I just looked at the vowels. And then I just looked at the consonants. And then I sang the vowels- matching them up in a melodic line, with my voice...well, it was a hell of a lot easier to sing. And then, when I just did consonsants (with "ng" as my neutral vowel), I noticed how much I constrict my voice so that must mean I am not using the tip of my tongue enough and wow, when I adjusted that...it so much easier to sing.
It was a coincidence, too, that on that same day I took a basics yoga class. I have been doing yoga for 15 years and not that I am a pro (I still can't do a hand stand), I am definitely beyond basics. But, there is something amazing and quieting and most importantly, humbling, to do downward dog over and over and over and over!! again. I didn't let my frustrations or boredom come in, but just allowed the amazing discovery of noticing the slight nuances that make the pose so much easier to do.
So, for those students out there (well, I know none of my 16 followers are)- but, just in case you are new to this blog and a student-- don't rush. Enjoy it all. It's painstaking and boring and you just want to go on the stage but, in reality, that's what life can be- reaching for something new and allusive and not here today. So just enjoy today. Enjoy each IPA symbol. Enjoy each vowel. Because, really, that is all we have and it's awesome!
PS- Thank you Nico Castel who made this much easier and enjoyable. I can't take all the credit for looking up each word, etc. And thanks Mom for buying that book for Christmas!
But then, I thought- wait- I miss school, I miss the in the moment learning and taking things slow, so- why not?
And it was miraculous what I discovered. First, I definitely forgot a few things (I was IPA'ing Pamina in the finale of the Magic Flute). Like- ich is actually "I" and not "i" (same with dich!). And there are nuances with the umlauted o and au and all that. But, most importantly, I just looked at the vowels. And then I just looked at the consonants. And then I sang the vowels- matching them up in a melodic line, with my voice...well, it was a hell of a lot easier to sing. And then, when I just did consonsants (with "ng" as my neutral vowel), I noticed how much I constrict my voice so that must mean I am not using the tip of my tongue enough and wow, when I adjusted that...it so much easier to sing.
It was a coincidence, too, that on that same day I took a basics yoga class. I have been doing yoga for 15 years and not that I am a pro (I still can't do a hand stand), I am definitely beyond basics. But, there is something amazing and quieting and most importantly, humbling, to do downward dog over and over and over and over!! again. I didn't let my frustrations or boredom come in, but just allowed the amazing discovery of noticing the slight nuances that make the pose so much easier to do.
So, for those students out there (well, I know none of my 16 followers are)- but, just in case you are new to this blog and a student-- don't rush. Enjoy it all. It's painstaking and boring and you just want to go on the stage but, in reality, that's what life can be- reaching for something new and allusive and not here today. So just enjoy today. Enjoy each IPA symbol. Enjoy each vowel. Because, really, that is all we have and it's awesome!
PS- Thank you Nico Castel who made this much easier and enjoyable. I can't take all the credit for looking up each word, etc. And thanks Mom for buying that book for Christmas!
Monday, July 16, 2012
Baby, It's HOT outside
As I was climbing up yet another flight of stairs, in yet another stifling disgusting stale opressive MTA subway station, I thought, "Why the hell am I walking so fast?" My vision was blurry, my head spinning- all because I am walking the same pace as when it's 60 degrees- or even 20 degrees! Well, the kitchen is hot and I want to stay in it but that doesn't mean I have to use my usual NYC pace...so, slow down. What's the hurry? It's going to be disgusting no matter what I do. And, as I have my performance coming up this Wednesday (6.30 pm- Cornelia St Cafe), I remind myself yet again- slow down- what's the hurry? Take this heat as a lesson to pause and look around and think...
(plus, everyone's on vaca anyway!)
(plus, everyone's on vaca anyway!)
Monday, May 14, 2012
Thank You Salesmen!
I was one of the fortunate few who was able to see Death of A Salesman, directed by the legendary Mike Nichols, starring the amazing Philip Seymour Hoffman, heart-wrenching Linda Edmond, surprising Alex Garfield (I only say this because he was in Social Network and next appears in Spider Man), and profound Finn Wittrock. When I immediately stood up to give my standing ovation, I thought to myself- Thank You. Thank you for sharing your amazing gifts.
It's hard to be in the performing arts world. When everyone everywhere talk about the economy and more and more arts education programs are being cut- you begin to drink the Kool-Aid that arts don't really matter. I mean, what do they really bring? Spiderman on Broadway is the Number 1 Broadway show right now. Spiderman. That's a tough sell on integrity. We live in a world of American Idol, the Kardashians, really bad movies, BLOGS ;), twitter. The get successful fast formula. And, the arts admin world, trying to find something ANYTHING hip and cool and edgy because that's what foundations want- what the critics want. No one wants music for the sake of music any more. And if they do, it's just too expensive to take a risk.
So, because of this, I was a bit skeptical. I mean- I read it in high school. Broken Dreams...blah blah blah. Was this another guaranteed get rich scheme by Broadway? Yet another revival? Ugh.
But the critics piqued my interest and I heard good things so..ok, I'll bite...last row though!
And even though I was in the cheap seats- literally, the LAST row, I was completely captivated. I couldn't see their faces, but I could hear the emotions and feel their body language. I fell in love with these characters and I was deeply torn apart by the decisions, or lack of decisions, they all made.
No aerial-stunts can do this. No reality TV. Not even the most eloquent blog.
So thank you. I feel like a human being again.
It's hard to be in the performing arts world. When everyone everywhere talk about the economy and more and more arts education programs are being cut- you begin to drink the Kool-Aid that arts don't really matter. I mean, what do they really bring? Spiderman on Broadway is the Number 1 Broadway show right now. Spiderman. That's a tough sell on integrity. We live in a world of American Idol, the Kardashians, really bad movies, BLOGS ;), twitter. The get successful fast formula. And, the arts admin world, trying to find something ANYTHING hip and cool and edgy because that's what foundations want- what the critics want. No one wants music for the sake of music any more. And if they do, it's just too expensive to take a risk.
So, because of this, I was a bit skeptical. I mean- I read it in high school. Broken Dreams...blah blah blah. Was this another guaranteed get rich scheme by Broadway? Yet another revival? Ugh.
But the critics piqued my interest and I heard good things so..ok, I'll bite...last row though!
And even though I was in the cheap seats- literally, the LAST row, I was completely captivated. I couldn't see their faces, but I could hear the emotions and feel their body language. I fell in love with these characters and I was deeply torn apart by the decisions, or lack of decisions, they all made.
No aerial-stunts can do this. No reality TV. Not even the most eloquent blog.
So thank you. I feel like a human being again.
Monday, April 30, 2012
VOW Concert- May 18th!
I will be singing with my Quartet, Voice of Women, in our new concert:
All Girl Band
Friday, May 18 at 7:30 pm
Museum of Motherhood (M.O.M.)
$20 at the door or buy early online by visiting our DONATE page The Voices of Women (VOW) present a brand new spring program about camaraderie and companionship. It will feature a variety of works including composers Barbara Anselmi, Joseph Turrin, Stephen Sondheim, Stephen Flaherty, Terrance McNally and more! The concert is accompanied by Jim Trainor. This poignant program will focus on the passages the women have taken in their formative years as well as the friendships that have shaped their lives. Half of the proceeds will benefit the Museum of Motherhood.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Letter to Contemporary Opera Directors who never directed opera before
Dear Directors of Contemporary Opera who have never directed opera before,
I feel like there is an epidemic going on where opera companies are hiring non-opera directors for new works and ironically, this usually happens in a large media-blitzed fashion. So, if you are one of these directors, here is my advice (and who are we kidding- I know you aren't visiting this website but I have to get this out of my system!)
1. Go to an opera directed by someone who only directs opera. I think you will find some interesting things. Primarily, they let the singers sing because it's hard to do anything else but stand and sing. So, you need to fight the urge to have them do "something" for the sake of doing "something" while the music is already doing plenty. I understand that in straight theatre/film (i.e no music, not a play done by straight people ;), there is a tactic to have the actors do various chores, like folding laundry, while discuss whatever heart wrenching episode is playing out. But, in opera, usually the heart wrenching episode is really really difficult to sing.
2. Because this is an opera, the text is probably difficult to understand for the audience. Either, because it's in a foreign language, or- if it's contemporary- probably in poetic form and most definitely in a stream of consciousness style. So, when you add all this stuff it is super distracting to the audience because they don't know what to pay attention to (The music? The action? The singing? The words?) and completely unfair to the singer (what's more important? The music? The action? The singing? The words?).
3. The most important part IS the music- This is opera, folks; use it! I get that impresario's are trying to avoid the usual "opera is boring" by hiring directors who excel in pulling out drama from the text. But, the composers have given you a gift, dear director: music that describes the characters motivation.
4. Don't try to choreograph stuff going on behind a singer that is different tempi from the music to be interesting like a modern ballet. This isn't modern ballet (and if it is, then have the singer stand in a corner and just sing). And, don't add movement to a singer that makes no sense to the text.
5. Audiences are smart. I am all for changing it up- but we are smart. So, have it make sense, please. Otherwise, you are going to alienate the audience you have worked so hard to build.
In short, do what is on the page and work with your artists to ensure they find the drama within the music and not waste your time on all this other crap! I know - easier said then done- so, again, revisit step 1. There are many brilliant opera directors out there who know what they are doing.
I feel like there is an epidemic going on where opera companies are hiring non-opera directors for new works and ironically, this usually happens in a large media-blitzed fashion. So, if you are one of these directors, here is my advice (and who are we kidding- I know you aren't visiting this website but I have to get this out of my system!)
1. Go to an opera directed by someone who only directs opera. I think you will find some interesting things. Primarily, they let the singers sing because it's hard to do anything else but stand and sing. So, you need to fight the urge to have them do "something" for the sake of doing "something" while the music is already doing plenty. I understand that in straight theatre/film (i.e no music, not a play done by straight people ;), there is a tactic to have the actors do various chores, like folding laundry, while discuss whatever heart wrenching episode is playing out. But, in opera, usually the heart wrenching episode is really really difficult to sing.
2. Because this is an opera, the text is probably difficult to understand for the audience. Either, because it's in a foreign language, or- if it's contemporary- probably in poetic form and most definitely in a stream of consciousness style. So, when you add all this stuff it is super distracting to the audience because they don't know what to pay attention to (The music? The action? The singing? The words?) and completely unfair to the singer (what's more important? The music? The action? The singing? The words?).
3. The most important part IS the music- This is opera, folks; use it! I get that impresario's are trying to avoid the usual "opera is boring" by hiring directors who excel in pulling out drama from the text. But, the composers have given you a gift, dear director: music that describes the characters motivation.
4. Don't try to choreograph stuff going on behind a singer that is different tempi from the music to be interesting like a modern ballet. This isn't modern ballet (and if it is, then have the singer stand in a corner and just sing). And, don't add movement to a singer that makes no sense to the text.
5. Audiences are smart. I am all for changing it up- but we are smart. So, have it make sense, please. Otherwise, you are going to alienate the audience you have worked so hard to build.
In short, do what is on the page and work with your artists to ensure they find the drama within the music and not waste your time on all this other crap! I know - easier said then done- so, again, revisit step 1. There are many brilliant opera directors out there who know what they are doing.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The crazy mind of an engaged woman
So- I apologize for not posting as of late- I have been engaged since mid-December and have been wrapped up in wedding plans. It has been super fun making all the plans, a little hectic- and mostly all exciting. But- I have become a crazy woman. I am so very distracted that although I practice, and although I type this now- my mind is in France (where our honeymoon will be) or thinking of cute ways to update our wedding website. So, I must apologize for this blog as I am sure it will be somewhat incoherent and definitely brief.
Act II- I have been avoiding this act FOREVER and for good reason. The 1st Act has a very difficult aria, so I wanted to tackle it first (tackling is a good word- it is officially wrestled to the ground, not sure it has any musical merit at this point- but it will). Then, the last Act is in the lower region so my voice teacher and I thought it best to learn that one first so I can have an established base line to sing the role from. But the 2nd Act...ugh...and for all that I am going through as a crazy engaged woman...double ugh.
This is the Act when Alfredo's father convinces Violetta to leave his son for the benefits of all parties. And...she agrees!
I tried to sing this act a year ago and I got so emotional that I had trouble getting through phrases. I mean- how could she agree to do this? I could NEVER do this! Ever! And it's not that I am mad at her or even disagree with the situation (well, I do a little- but that is my 21st Century mentality)- but seriously, how can she even speak, let along sing? And to go to that place to have a rational decision that yes, I will leave the love of my life...I just simply don't want to do it.
Then, there is the 21st Century mentality. She gives up the man she loves so he doesn't ruin his family. Honorable, I guess? And she is dying anyway, right? And, she is a courtesan, so what is her value anyway? Hmm...that's where I have trouble. She puts everyone's emotions in front of hers not to be noble or because she is dying or because it's the right thing to do (is it?)- but, because, in this time- a woman's loss- and a courtesan's loss- isn't worth the trouble. So, then I get angry and sad.
Much rather be on knot.com- you know?
Act II- I have been avoiding this act FOREVER and for good reason. The 1st Act has a very difficult aria, so I wanted to tackle it first (tackling is a good word- it is officially wrestled to the ground, not sure it has any musical merit at this point- but it will). Then, the last Act is in the lower region so my voice teacher and I thought it best to learn that one first so I can have an established base line to sing the role from. But the 2nd Act...ugh...and for all that I am going through as a crazy engaged woman...double ugh.
This is the Act when Alfredo's father convinces Violetta to leave his son for the benefits of all parties. And...she agrees!
I tried to sing this act a year ago and I got so emotional that I had trouble getting through phrases. I mean- how could she agree to do this? I could NEVER do this! Ever! And it's not that I am mad at her or even disagree with the situation (well, I do a little- but that is my 21st Century mentality)- but seriously, how can she even speak, let along sing? And to go to that place to have a rational decision that yes, I will leave the love of my life...I just simply don't want to do it.
Then, there is the 21st Century mentality. She gives up the man she loves so he doesn't ruin his family. Honorable, I guess? And she is dying anyway, right? And, she is a courtesan, so what is her value anyway? Hmm...that's where I have trouble. She puts everyone's emotions in front of hers not to be noble or because she is dying or because it's the right thing to do (is it?)- but, because, in this time- a woman's loss- and a courtesan's loss- isn't worth the trouble. So, then I get angry and sad.
Much rather be on knot.com- you know?
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