Exploration of Sound

I went to hear Magnus Lindberg's, Kraft, with the New York Philharmonic at Avery Fisher Hall last Friday. It's a 30 minute piece where the percussion instruments include oxygen tanks and a gong suspended over the audience with 10 stations smartly placed throughout the hall - giving you the actual live Dolby effect like they do nowadays in movie theatres (the piece was written in the 80s). At the very beginning of the concert, Alan Gilbert, the music director of the NY Philharmonic, described that the entire concert was an "exploration of sound". This has been a noble, sometimes loud, mission for 20th century composers and I couldn't help (of course!) but relate this to what I am trying to do by tackling Violetta.

In meeting her, I have been trying to find "my sound." And I have been very conscious of timbre and tone by listening to various Violetta recordings. All the singers have different voices and different interpretations naturally come with that. But, I am not Callas. I am me and finding a consistent sound has been an arduous 15 year journey (something I need to figure out before I figure out interpretations)! I have a bright sound when I sing musical theatre, I have a narrow sound when I think of oo, I have a dark sound when I sing oh, and when I sing ah...well, it's usually stuck with a swallowed tongue, so I try to change it by thinking "ice" when singing "ah" (try it). I have a high sound when I don't breathe well, and a low (supportive) sound after running for a few miles. When I warm up I ask myself what is the best most efficient way to produce sound and beautiful sound at that? When I am singing a song, I am thinking what legato line will illuminate the poetry in its best form or tell the story most effectively? All I do is explore sound and I am losing my mind trying to make it into one! How ironic! Lindberg is breaking the mold but I am still trying to find it. However, what I really took from this concert was to not "explore sound" as individual pieces- but as a whole, combining many disjoint parts and making it something that stands on its own. In other words, I need to embrace all my various idiosyncratic sounds in order to create my one complete whole sound....hopefully, meeting Violetta on the way.

A small side note:
The Webster's Dictionary defines "sound" as: the sensation produced by stimulation of the organs of hearing by vibrations transmitted through the air or other medium. It also defines it as: free from damage, defect or disease; in good condition. Very poignant for a girl who had nodules... no wonder I am so obsessed with exploring it!